She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
