I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
