who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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