cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
