What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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