i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize