Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
