My room smells like vodka and shame
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize