Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
