White coat. Heels.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
