um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do vagina's smell?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
