Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
