I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize