she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
