I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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