yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize