I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Enjoy the penises
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
