Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
