the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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