yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Everclear isn't food dammit
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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