I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
