Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
