i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
