Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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