hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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