That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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