I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You need a sexual gate keeper
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
