i permit you to call me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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