im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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