He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
