MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
