I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
