You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am mentally ready for anal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
