got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
