fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize