this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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