Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
