Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
