"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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