If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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