What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
