thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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