Need sex. Gaining weight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
