uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
