Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize