just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
