you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
