You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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