I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
