plz talk dirty to me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
