Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
