Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
