Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
