I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
third nipple confirmed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
