Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
