Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
