I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
