I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He shit in the fireplace
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
