He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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