Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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