Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
