All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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