So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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