I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
