So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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