so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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