I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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