It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
