positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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