With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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