my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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