"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
