His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
