Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
