So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize