I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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