I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
farters have to be the big spoon...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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